WHAT IS PERINATAL LOSS?

Perinatal loss includes loss in stillbirth, miscarriage, and neonatal death, which are different depending on how far the pregnancy is. Perinatal loss can create many psychological effects on a person, just as any grief. However, the social support may not be the same due to how society may perceive the loss. Also, with perinatal loss, studies struggle to find the best way to say goodbye and saying goodbye is a massive part of processing grief. Not to mention, they don’t have memories to hold on to but rather what could have been (Hendson, Davies, Canadian Paediatric Society, & Fetus and Newborn Committee, 2018). Nonetheless, the grief from perinatal loss still affect ones mental health and can interfere in one’s daily activities (Kersting, & Wagner, 2012), such as eating and sleeping (Hendson, Davies, Canadian Paediatric Society, & Fetus and Newborn Committee, 2018). 

Moreover, with a perinatal loss, there is this feeling of guilt, especially if one didn’t want the baby or they believe they did something unhealthy during the pregnancy. The carrier may feel it was their fault for the loss. Or they may feel embarrassed in their body’s capabilities, again believing that the loss was due to themselves (Kersting, & Wagner, 2012).  

If siblings are present during perinatal loss, they may feel the world is unsafe and might assume they had some fault in the loss. If there is another child afterwards, parents may struggle to find out how to feel as they feel happy and sad. Vaughan Counselling and Psychotherapy Inc offer both child therapy and family therapy (Hendson, Davies, Canadian Paediatric Society, & Fetus and Newborn Committee, 2018), by Svetlana and Sumbul.

Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) can help reconstruct this thought of blame and guilt. All therapists at Vaughan Counselling and Pscyhtoehrapy Inc are trained in CBT. 

Therapy can also help one acknowledge that their perceived future has unfortunately been shattered and rather suddenly, which is a cause for a lot of the grief and recognizing that can help. In addition, many find giving birth the most critical aspect of their life, and the therapist and client can try to find other important things in the client’s life that give them meaning (Weir, 2019).  

It is important to note both parties will feel grief. Although males grieve differently than females, studies state males want to talk about it less than females (Kersting, & Wagner, 2012). Vaughan Counselling and Psychotherapy also offers couples counselling, where the therapist will address the different ways the parties grieve and cope; this way, one another can support each other the way they need (Weir, 2019).  

 We have many fantastic therapists at Vaughan Counselling and Psychotherapy Inc throughout Ontario - Vaughan, Woodbridge, Newmarket, Toronto, York, Hamilton, and London, that has experience working with perinatal loss and would be happy to assist you during your grieving. 

For more information or if you would like to book an appointment with one of our therapists, please give us a call at 647-267-9853 or email us at info@vaughanpsychotherapist.com. 

REFERENCES

Hendson, L., Davies, D., Canadian Paediatric Society, Fetus and Newborn Committee (2018). Supporting and communicating with families experiencing a perinatal loss. Paediatr Child Health. 23(8):549 (Abstract). Retrieved from https://cps.ca/en/documents/position/perinatal-loss 

Kersting, A., & Wagner, B. (2012). Complicated grief after perinatal loss. Dialogues in clinical neuroscience, 14(2), 187–194. https://doi.org/10.31887/DCNS.2012.14.2/akersting 

Weir, K, (2019). Healing the wounds of pregnancy loss. American Psychological Association. 49(5), 26. Retrieved from https://www.apa.org/monitor/2018/05/pregnancy-loss